Sailors, Ya Gotta Love Them

By Garland Davis

We have all heard the story about the new sailor fresh out of Bootcamp at home on boot leave. Our hero is at the family reunion being held in his honor. He thought that this is a good thing. All was going good until while talking with the family pastor, his parents, and some aunts and uncles, he looked around and asked, “Hey, did anyone see where I left my fuckin’ beer?

We’ve heard that story a thousand times from a thousand different sailors. I don’t doubt it happened. Sailors will be sailors.

I know for sure that the next one is true.

He is a Chief on leave visiting his mother in an Eastern state. a great-aunt passed away the day he arrived. His mother insisted on going to the viewing at the funeral home. Since he didn’t have a suit and the only uniform he had with him was the Winter Working Blues (Johnny Cash), he wore that.

Once they arrived at the funeral home and extended condolences to the families, he moved away from his mother’s group. He had been gone for over twenty years and knew none of them. A very attractive young woman who had been with the uncle’s family came up to him and took his arm and said, “I’ve often wondered about you. I’ve heard a lot about you but I don’t think I ever met you before.”

They moved off to the side talking and doing some mild flirting. He was careful, after all, it was her grandmother in the coffin. After they had been talking for about thirty minutes, he asked her if she would like to meet the next day for coffee or a drink.

She replied, “Do you know where the Marriott Hotel is located?”

He nodded that he did and she said, looking him in the eye with a crooked grin, “They have a nice lounge, meet me there in about two hours. The airline I work for maintains a suite there for VIP’s. Part of my job is to schedule people into the suite. It’s empty right now. See you there?”

He left with his mom going home. After arriving and changing clothes he told her that he was going out to have a couple of beers with some old high school buddies.

As he opened the door to leave, his mom said, “Now, remember, she’s your cousin.