Son of a gun

Son of a gun
By:  Robert “Okie Bob” Layton


A Couple of centuries ago the British Navy used to allow women to live on naval ships. Although the Royal Navy had rules against it, they did turn a blind eye to women (wives or prostitutes) joining sailors on voyages. It was predictable that during long deployments men and women were going to procreate!

The Royal Navy did have a requirement that pregnant women aboard naval vessels give birth in the space between the broadside guns. When the father of the child was in question sailors jokingly would say “the father must have been the gun” Any child born on board who had uncertain paternity was listed in the ship’s log as “son of a gun.”

Now I have passed on this bit of information because it connects to present day US Navy. Present day Navy you ask? Yes, present day Navy.

So I read a story today about a female sailor on board the USS Eisenhower currently deployed in the Persian Gulf. Giving birth to a baby! Political correctness has come into being. Join the Navy, see the world, take a cruise, go to war, Have a Baby!

You know the old running pranks we use to pull on young sailors like “sea bats” are no longer effective, for some smart ass young sailor would believe that we were jeopardizing an endangered species and “mail buoy watches” would not work since every sailor is now connected with Email or Facebook. So to send a male seaman down to sick bay for a “pap smear” just might invoke the wrath of the Surgeon General initiating an investigation of who sent said seaman down to sick bay?

You know there was a time when going to sick bay on ship meant drawing out rubbers as a protection against VD. Condoms in today’s Navy have evolved into pregnancy prevention? In addition to Trojans, are First Response Pregnancy Tests to be offered!

Gone are the clap lines of yore to be replaced by prenatal care?

You know you can’t stop nature, segregation of the genders on board ship is postponing the inevitability, pregnancy will happen, put men and women together—– shit happens—– it’s only natural!!!

Like the royal navy problem centuries ago, we can turn a blind eye or we can confront the Matter. The days of gun deck births are here with us, whether we won’t to admit it or not.

The following is an old sailor song popular in my day I know it’s not PC just History! so back off of any liberal comments. Its entertainment!


Open letter to a Wave

If you’re nervous in the service and you don’t know what to do,

If you’re hurried and you’re worried and you’re feelin’ kind o’ blue,

If you’re bleary and you’re weary and you wish the war was through,

Have a baby on me.

If you’re tired of the regimentation,

And you’d like to return to civilization,

I can help you, pretty Lady,

If you’d like to leave the Navy,

Have a baby on me.

If you’re tired of the color that you’re wearing every day,

And you’d like to dress in violet or even cruiser grey,

If you’d like to leave the Waves, but you’re afraid they’ll make you stay,

Have a baby on me.

If you’re tired of the work you’re allotted,

And you’re looking for a discharge…I’ve got it,

You’ll be feeling like a million,

And you’ll wind up a civilian,

Have a baby on me.

If you’re sick of all the mashers with the braid along the sleeve,

If you gotta act like Garbo just to get a weekend leave,

If you’re tired of the Adams who’ve decided, you’re their Eve,

Have a baby on me.

Why bother with a two-day vacation,

I can get you home for the duration,

You might get a bit distended,

But your troubles would be ended,

Have a baby on me.
Oscar Brand
Every Inch A Sailor