Ocean Creatures or Seafood Terms

By: Garland Davis

People often ask me to explain terms to them due to my expertise in things culinary. This should clear up questions about sea creatures

Crawfish or Crayfish – Water Bug

Shrimp – Larger Water Bug

Lobster – Big Fucking Water Bug

Crab – Water Spider

King Crab – Big Fucking Water Spider

Crab (Pubic Louse) – caught by fooling around with Hairy Clams

Fish – Big Fish Food

Big Fish – Bigger Fish Food

Oysters – Snot in a Shell

Octopus – Eight-Armed Sea Monster

Giant Octopus – Big Fucking Eight-Armed Sea Monster

Squid – Ten-Armed Sea Monster-Sometimes disguises itself as onion rings.

Giant Squid – Big fucking Ten-Armed Sea Monster

Giant Clam — No matter what she says — Do not eat

Clam – Comes in two varieties. Bearded and clean shaven. Unfortunately, we are unable to show the difference between the two