Ode to a Matelot

Guzz is sailors name for Plymouth. Reggy is a member of the Regulation branch (RN Police)

Ode to a Matelot

By Unknown

I was drinking in a Bar when a girl caught my eye

She had a ring through her nose and a tatt on her thigh.

I asked her name and she said “I’m called Gwen”

She smelt like a horse and she danced like a wren.

She said “Come on Jack are you game for a laff”

So we jumped in a fast black and went back to her gaff.

Her house was in Torpoint and on the front door

Was a crest from each ship that had been there before.

I said to her “Gwen that’s impressive to see”

As it looked like she’d been on twelve more ships than me.

It smelt like the mess after a good run ashore

With lanyards and cap Tallies all over the floor.

She walked to the window and sat on the ledge

I slid my hand in her knicks and felt meat and two veg

I tried to get out but she got hold of my leg

It was then I knew Gwen was an ex killick Reg.

I ran out of the door and into the street

With my kecks round my ankles and nowt on me feet.

Thank God I’d escaped and gave praise to the Lord

Got big eats, a taxi and went back onboard.

So if you’re ever in Guzz and bump into Gwen

Just remember she’s really a Reggy called Ben.

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