Keurig Qualifications or the K-Cup
By: Garland Davis
It will be a sad day for sailors in our new, modern, diverse, better Navy. They will miss the joy of getting up a 0330 for the four to eight watch and having to drink the mess deck coffee that has burned and scorched since it was made shortly before midrats. Or the Chief who has to make the tough decision whether to make a fresh pot and wait the interminable time for it to finish or to drink the dregs of the last pot made. Or the officer who has to go without coffee because there is no one to make him a pot or fetch it for him.
What? You ask, will deprive sailors of stale coffee, the traditional drink of those who inhabit the early hours of the morning or wander through the ship at night. The answer is the single service coffee POD or K-cup. I have heard that they will soon be made available in the supply system.
The only early morning watch standers enjoying good coffee, if you consider “Black Gang” coffee good, are the snipes because the off going watch always makes a fresh pot, otherwise the oncoming EEOW will kill them.
AUTHORS NOTE: I learned as a night baker that I could trade pastries to the snipes for a good cup of coffee. Actually it wasn’t that good but it was fresher than any other and it saved me from making a pot and depriving sailors wandering around in the night the joy of drinking skunky coffee. END NOTE
Soon Wardrooms everywhere will be equipped with single serve coffee makers. They are simple enough that even officers can operate them. Officers will no longer be forced to drink old coffee because they couldn’t find a CS or Mess Attendant to make a pot for them. They will be able to do it themselves. Probably will become a requirement for their Warfare Qualifications. Or, they may create a special qualification and a shiny new pin to wear. We could call it the Keurig Qualification Device. A corresponding Enlisted qualification and device could also be authorized. It could be worn above their warfare device.
And of course a Keurig machine would be installed in the CPO Mess. No Chief would ever again have to drink stale coffee.
But soon after installation in the Wardroom and the CPO Mess they would have to fall back to the old Bunn coffee maker, because the 3MC would discover that the machines weren’t covered by the PMS program and the machines would be tagged out while a comprehensive PMS program was developed for them.