By Cort Willoughby
More than fair to say I’ve always enjoyed a good laugh. Often at my own expense . Never have I destroyed property or malicious intent toward anyone in my pursuit of a laugh or a good time.
One extra warm day in the AUTUMN a neighbor, John Bradley , lived up the road had brought his corn picking machine to the farm that parallels the one we lived in. Any Kid loves machinery, the noise and work being done , a pure magnet that drew me to observe . John a tall lanky man , pronounced ADAM’S apple and generally a shitty disposition.
Still , it was the only game in town that day and I was gonna record it to memory . Several passes and the wagon was full . John stopped near my viewing spot to swap out trailers . The old “POPPIN JOHN” JOHN DEERE had steam coming from the radiator . John asks , “ DO Y’ALL have water up there?”
Pissed me off instantly, also fair to say I’ll die with that chip on my shoulder . I SAID HELL YES , even as a kid I was ready to hook it up, what kinda asshole gonna ask that ? He says, “ll give you a dime if you go and bring a bucket of water for my tractor.” HELL YES, I’m a rocket blazing to get this dime in my pocket .
Get to the house , pick up the two gallon can . Now , this can was a Sinclair Dinosaur can , had two holes in it with bailing wire for a handle. THIS bucket , OUR NIGHT TIME PISS BUCKET my youngest brother was responsible for empty duty every morning . Rusty inside and yes, smells like piss.
I drop the water bucket into the well and fill two gallon of water into the Dinosaur. SINCLAIR actually looked cooler, chill water visible . I get back to John Bradley . HE grabs the bucket n pours into the radiator . HE too spots condensation on the outside . Still no effort to hand over my earnings . Says “This won’t kill a fellow if I drink from it ?”
“NO, I DON’T THINK SO!”
GLUG GLUG GLUG ADAMS APPLE BOUNCING LIKE A BASKET BALL . HE stops , hawks several times spitting . Says this smells like PISS!!! It should I say , that’s our piss bucket ! Then I really get in the wind.
To this day John Bradley owes me a dime.