First draft of e-mail

To: Archangel Gabriel

From: Directing Angel Prayer Central

Gabriel, I need help. I need at least many more angels to help with the processing of prayers. We are overwhelmed. Since Facebook was created with everyone asking for prayers for their ill and dying relatives and pets, their own illnesses, and for myriad other reasons the volume of prayers has increased a hundredfold.

You wouldn’t believe the prayers coming in. I am getting prayers for Dale Jr to win and for him to crash. For example, two years ago there was a loud clamor from a group of devout ladies in Branson, Missouri praying for some fellow named Neal. Those prayers went on for days. I still get one or two on occasion.

More and more by the time we review a prayer it has become too late to help. And that is just bad PR. Gabe.

Tell the boss that to be timelier on answering prayers, I need at least a thousand more angels to process the backlog and to keep up with the increased volume.

You need to FastTrack this Gabe. Anxiously awaiting your reply.