No Pearl necklace

No Pearl necklace…

By Brion Boyles

When I was a young lad in the Navy, I was engaged to a Japanese girl named Hitomi… a bargirl in my ship’s homeport of Sasebo, Japan. She had a crush on some obscure German rock guitarist and had her room completely plastered with his posters. I had never heard of him… Michael Schenker? Anyways, fast-forward … I had been at sea for about a year away from Hitomi, and my ship had dropped anchor at Pattaya, Thailand, for some well-deserved R n’R before heading home to Sasebo. On our first day in Pattaya, shipmate Chuck Fisher and I were riding in a Thai version of a jeepney… just him, me and some long-haired, blonde guy with two Thai hookers. He was dressed head-to-toe in black leather (it was at least 95 degrees F), sweating like a fountain and obviously drunk off his ass, but he looked familiar and I told Chuck so. Anyways, we got off the jeepney at a bar and spent the rest of the day carousing the streets…until we found ourselves in a live music joint around midnight. THERE, again, was the leather dude… half-passed out, at the table in front of us.
After a few beers, the bar-owner climbed onstage, grabbed the microphone and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a surprise guest here, who has agreed to play for us! Please welcome….Mr. MICHAEL SCHENKER!”

Well, to my surprise, this clown got up and beat a guitar for a few minutes… and then fell off the stage. They brought him back to his table of hookers, and I mustered up the nerve to ask him for an autograph. I didn’t have anything to write on… nothing but my beer-soaked tab. I told him about Hitomi and how thrilled she’d be to have a personal note. He scribbled something illegible on the tab like “Tnks, Hmito!” and signed it… again, illegibly.
I stuffed it into my wallet and thought “What are the chances?!?!? Run into THIS loser guy, of all guys, and TWICE in the same day!”

I wrote and told Hitomi I had a very special gift for her… I think she was hoping for pearls or something….and when we arrived back in Sasebo a few weeks later I pulled the wrinkled, stained beer-tab out of my wallet and said, “Here’s a personal autograph…from MICHAEL SCHENKER!”
She gave me the look of Death and threw it in the trash.
Not too sure if I was lying or not, she later retrieved it… but she ended up marrying some lieutenant who gave her a diamond ring the size of an ashtray…

Postscript: Apparently, Michael Schenker was in the bands “UFO” and “The Scorpions”, as well as having his own “Michael Schenker Group”…and known as “a legendary figure in the world of rock guitar”…

I still have no idea who he is.

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4 thoughts on “No Pearl necklace

  1. Irv Trinkle says:

    I guess I am more of a prude than I thought. I never heard of the guy but the bands you mentioned were not among my favorites either.

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  2. Irv Trinkle says:

    I forgot to mention that one of my favorite rock bands was right there in the P.I. Many really good ones but the one that was best was based in Subic City. Name of the group was “MARILYN AND THE HUMMERS!”

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