MILITARY OLD AND NEW

1945 – NCOs had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.

2016 – everyone has Internet access and a computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.

1945 – we painted pictures of girls on airplanes to remind us of home.

2016 – they put the real thing in the cockpit.

1945 – your girlfriend was at home praying you would return alive.

2016 – she is in the same trench praying your condom worked.

1945 – if you got drunk off duty your mates would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.

2016 – if you get drunk they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.

1945 – you were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.

2016- you spray 500 bullets into the brush, don’t hit anything, and retreat because you’re out of ammo.

1945 – canteens were made of steel, and you could heat tea or hot chocolate in them.

2016 – canteens are made of plastic, you can’t heat anything in them, and they always taste like plastic.

1945 – officers were professional soldiers first and they commanded respect.

2016 – officers are politicians first and beg not to be given a wedgie.

1945 – they collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.

2016 – they collect your pee and analyze it.

1945 – if you didn’t act right, the Sergeant Major put you in the brig until you straightened up.

2016 – if you don’t act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

1945 – medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.

2016 – medals are awarded to people who work at headquarters.

1945 – you slept in barracks like a soldier.

2016 – you sleep in a dormitory like a school kid.

1945 – you ate in a mess hall, which was free, and you could have all the food you wanted.

2016 – you eat in a dining facility, every slice of bread or pad of butter costs, and you better not take too much.

1945 – we defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.

2016 – we come up short against Iraq and Afghanistan.

1945 – if you wanted to relax, you went to the rec. center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.

2016 – you go to the community center, and you can play pool.

1945 – if you wanted beer and conversation you went to the wet canteen.

2016 – the beer will cost you $5.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink.

1945 – the Canteen had bargains for soldiers who didn’t make much money.

2016 – you can get better and cheaper merchandise at K-mart.

1945 – we could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.

2016 – we are wearing the Nazi helmets.

1945 – we called the enemy names like “Krauts” and “Japs” because we didn’t like them.

2016 – we call the enemy the “opposing force” or “aggressor” because we don’t want to offend them.

1945 – victory was declared when the enemy was defeated and all his things were broken.

2016 – we haven’t a clue as to what victory is or what it takes to achieve it.

1945 – a commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.

2016 – a commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

1945 – wars were planned and run by generals who knew how to fight and win.

2016- wars are planned by politicians who haven’t a clue about fighting or winning.

1945 – we were fighting for freedom, and the country was committed to winning.

2016 – we don’t know what we’re fighting for, and the government is committed to social programs and political correctness.

1945 – all you could think about was getting out and becoming a civilian again.

2016 – all you can think about is getting out and becoming a civilian again.