Asia Sailor’s New Year’s Resolutions

Asia Sailor’s New Year’s Resolutions

By Garland Davis


It is the time of year when many of us reflect upon the year almost gone and previous years of our lives. We Monday Morning Quarterback the events of our lives and the outcomes of our actions that precipitated these events. That is when we resolve that things will be different in the new year, that we are turning over a new leaf. The new year will become the template for the remaining years of our existence.

There are a Normal Person’s (NP) New Year’s resolutions and then there is the Asia Sailors (AS) New Year’s resolutions.

Clothing and Dress

NP resolution – To dress more fashionably in the coming year by purchasing clothes recommended by men’s fashion magazines.

AS resolution – Learn to sew buttons so I don’t have to keep buying new dungaree shirts.
– Have Liberty Cuffs put on my Dress Blues in Hong Kong

Money and Finances

NP resolution – Start a savings program to accumulate enough money to visit…wherever.
– Become more conscious of values when shopping

AS resolution – Leave money on the books for Subic next month.
– Stop fooling my money away at the Ship’s Store buying soap and shit
– Stock up on enough Sea Stores to cover the yard period.
– The Yoko Exchange is selling perfume at a way reduced price because they are overstocked. It may come in handy in Subic.
– Stop drinking that expensive ass Suntory and stick with Nikka and Akadama. No reason to buy the expensive stuff. It all tastes the same when you puke it back up.


Relationships

NP resolution – Join the Church group to meet acceptable young women.
– Make sure my breath is clean for a possible good night kiss.

AS resolution – Friday, take the train up to Yokohama. Hear that there is lots of Widow action at the Seaside and Zebra clubs as well as the local action in China Town.
– Rub some stick deodorant on my nuts in case I get a BJ. I want it to be a pleasant experience for her also.
– Jones will be TAD to school while we are in Subic. Make a run on his Steady.

Health and Fitness

NP resolution – Join a health club and try to lose five pounds.

AS resolution – Ain’t no reason to try to lose weight when all those gut robbers in the galley feed you is Creamed Shit on a Shingle for breakfast and fake Mashed Potatoes and fatty Roast Beef and lumpy fucking Gravy for the rest of the meals.

General Topics

NP resolution – Add new resolutions or adjust resolutions as circumstances dictate.

AS resolution – Fuck a bunch of resolutions!

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3 thoughts on “Asia Sailor’s New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Pingback: Asia Sailor’s New Year’s Resolutions — Tales of an Asia Sailor – On the Patio

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