by Garland Davis
I was diagnosed with cancer about eight months ago and was slated for a number of CHEMO Therapy treatments. I was given a sheet explaining the different drugs used in CHEMO and listed the side effects (enough to scare the shit out of the strongest person) and the drug interactions for each one.
- Nausea. Often puke a lot.
- Loss of appetite (Good chance to lose that fat ass you are packing around.
- Sometimes your fricken hair falls out, completely or in clumps.
- On the bright side it gives you a good reason to smoke marijuana.
Being an Asia Sailor in good standing, I was particularly interested in the effects of alcohol consumption, As I read the sheet for each drug, I became more and more perplexed. Each one said that alcohol was permitted in small amounts. My questions were:
- How much is a “small” amount? In my experience anything below a six pack can not even be considered an “amount.”
- Are you only permitted one small “amount” or can you have a small “amount” for each medicine?
After agonizing over the problem for awhile, I decided that not drinking during the treatment would probably be best. Once CHEMO was finished, I was scheduled for fifteen radiation treatments. The Radiation Oncologist explained the side effects of the treatments.
- Torture. Since my cancer was in my neck, they fashioned a mask that covered my face and head and was clamped down so I couldn’t move. (See Photo)
- Probably lose sense of taste.
- Recommended increasing calorie increase because could cause rapid weight loss. (A fat boy’s wet dream.)
- Could rot your teeth. Prescription toothpaste.
- Could cause loss of hair growth on face and neck. Oh, Boy! Simce I would rather eat a bug that shave, I saw this as a benefit.
- There were some other things, but Tara, the pretty nurse, came into the room about that time and I don’t remember anything else he said.
I also decided to forego the drinking during radiation treatment.
Now that I have been considered cancer free, I guess I could have a few, but I think I will wait until The Asia Sailor reunion in Branson. Come on May!