by Garland Davis

My wife is Japanese.  I do not speak Japanese, but I understand most of what is said if I listen closely. My wife watches many health advice shows on TV.  She copied one last night and insisted I watch it this morning.

A Japanese psychologist discussed meditation, imagination, and positive thinking concerning improving the condition of Parkinson’s patients.  Interesting.  The doctor told of instances where sufferers, after thirty-minute periods of meditation who imagined themselves walking and moving naturally without the aid of canes and walkers, actually improved their ability to walk and move unaided.

Being skeptical, I consulted the most outstanding and most informed medical expert in the world, Google (I bet you thought I was going to say, Dr. Fauci).  I read several incredibly positive articles about the power of meditation, imagination, and positive thinking regarding improving medical conditions.

I decided to give it a try.  The articles recommended a calm, quiet, dimly lit room where one can relax comfortably—a description of my study to a tee.  I cracked the shades, killed the lights, and reclined in what has become my favorite place in the world. I breathed slowly, in through the nose and out through the mouth, as recommended.  I pictured myself walking naturally through Ala Moana Beach Park in Honolulu.  I was on the walkway, not the beach (I have a problem with sand, but that is another story for another time.).

I was thinking, “Hey, this is pretty good!”  Why don’t I imagine that I am thirty years younger, forty pounds lighter, still have my hair, and am strolling, holding hands, with one of the 24-year-old bikini-clad beach bunnies populating the park.

After meditating and imagining for about a half-hour, I pushed my walker away from in front of the recliner, looked at my cane with contempt, rose from my chair, and stepped out with a positive attitude.

Here I am with my 79-year-old wife holding my hand, helping my 77-year-old, bald, overweight fat ass up off the floor!