Sailors Have More Fun Than Monkeys

By Cort Willoughby

Sure nuff, LOOKING at the path my life lays out for me I can attest for real that SAILORS have more fun than monkeys . Monkeys have more fun than people . Today was such a day . I try to gauge my trips to the grocery to get me home before dark . Really doesn’t matter as there are no farm chores to be done . Only my meager efforts to have dinner n dishes done , line up meds, rain locker etc . I’m pretty sure most have a similar routine. As my timing at the grocery meets with several other old farts. We probably think we are safer in numbers . At any rate there are usually the same 3 or 4 I know as VETS. The fresh veggies dude retired AIR FORCE . Now , Robert , before he took to fighting with a fierce attitude his battle with cancer , he always enjoyed going to his farm and worry about his animals. For sure one person that loves working and watching his horses n other animals on his farm . He and half dozen worthless farts got together daily for coffee and fixing the problems. Me , I’m pretty much a loner, I’ll take my coffee at home. So it’s when I go grocery shopping I run into other worthless farts n inside 3 minutes we have greeted each other thann moving on .

TODAY , ONE OF US WORTHLESS FARTS WAS SPEAKING WITH HIS FINGER PLUGGING THE HOLE IN HIS THROAT TO TALK . NOW , HE IS GIVEN TO BEING CAUGHT UP IN EXCITEMENT , SOMEWHAT JUMPY , GREAT WORTHLESS OLD FART . WE SEE AN AMAZON GO BY US . NOW , THIS FANTASTIC FIGURE OF A WOMAN WOULD HAVE STOOD OUT IN A LAND OF AMAZON’S, HERE , RITE NOW ! OUR EYEBALLS BLINKING TILT TILT, TILT LOOKING AT HER. DUDE EXCITED , HAS HIS FINGER PUSHED TO THE SECOND DIGIT IN HIS PORT HOLE . HIS EXCITED RASPY VOICE SPEWS OUT **** HOT DAMN , IT WOULD TAKE 18 WHEELERS TO BUST THAT DOWN AND GET THAT PUSS ***** HE REALIZES HE HAS BURIED HIS DIGIT AND BUSTED OUT LOUD . YOU NEVER SAW 4 CANES BEATING OUT RETREAT SO DAMN FAST , COCKROACHES HAVE NOTHING ON US . MY LUCK , I’M BUSTED ! SHE LOOKS DOWN AT ME , HER PERFECT RADAR DOMES ARE HIGH N TIGHT. SHE LOOKS AT ME , HELL , I’M THE BOSN , SO HERE GOES . I SAID MA’AM, WE DON’T GET TO SEE SUCH BEAUTY IN THE PROPORTIONS YOU HAVE . YOU GOTTA ADMIT IT WAS A GREAT VIEW WHEN YOU BENT OVER . SHE ACTUALLY SMILED , LEANED DOWN N KISSED MY OLD HEAD . WORTHLESS BASTARDS GRILLED ME FOR TWENTY MINUTES . HELL , I’M A FLEET SAILOR . WIN SOME, AND THEN WIN SOME MORE . DGUTS BOSN