I Was Mugged at UPS

By Garland Davis

If you ever considered shipping a stick from Branson, Missouri to Honolulu, don’t do it!

My shipmate and brother Cort Willoughby presented me with a unique cane during the sixth Asia Sailor Westpac’rs reunion last week in Branson. It didn’t fit in my luggage and was too long for the overhead bins in some of the aircraft. I decided to use FedEx or UPS to ship it to my home in Hawaii.

I found the address for the UPS facility and Hambone and I set out to locate it. After the Garmin in his rental car totally confused the hell out of us, we were eventually successful.

I informed the young woman behind the counter of my desire to ship the cane. Now I once shipped a Kindle via UPS to Jerry Juliana in West By God from Hawaii. The sweet young thing in Branson asked me for my zip code and then told me my name and address. Facial recognition?

That sweet young blonde measured and weighed the cane punched a bunch of numbers and crap into a computer and then mugged my dumb ass.

I paid $226.33 to ship a two-pound stick from Branson to Waipahu. It was delivered today.

On the positive side, I am now the proud owner of enough foam shipping peanuts to fill a shitcan.