Alcohol

I can vouch for the quality of this medicine………….and some of its side effects!

I do not understand why prescription medicine is allowed to advertise on TV or why anyone would think of trying one of the medicines after listening to the laundry list of possible side effects. But this is definitely an exception!

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

Do you sometimes feel stressed?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Alcohol.

Alcohol is a safe, natural way to feel better and become more confident. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you are ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Alcohol almost immediately, and, with a regimen of regular doses, you will overcome obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past.

You will discover talents you never knew you had..

Alcohol may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it, but women who would not mind nursing, or becoming pregnant, are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare and Naked Twister. If you experience any of these, see your Primary Bartender.

Warnings:

The consumption of Alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of Alcohol may cause you to think you can dance.

The consumption of Alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

The consumption of Alcohol in the form of Gin will double the beneficial and detrimental effects.

Please feel free to share this important medical information!

…and remember…

It is always five o’clock somewhere!