11 Tips for Better Sex

By Garland Davis

Sex isn’t just fun. It’s good for you too. Every orgasm releases a flood of the hormone oxytocin, which improves your mood. Regular rolls in the hay could improve your heart health, reduce stress and depression, improve your self-esteem, and help you sleep better. Snuggling together underneath the sheets also makes you feel closer to your partner and enhances your sense of intimacy. Forget all that crap, it feels good and Yeah, it is just fun!

The following are suggestions to improve sex.

1. Communicate with your partner. Indicate to her when it is time for a BJ. I have found this is best accomplished by fumbling in your wallet for more P’s.

2. Try something different. Be careful when suggesting a threesome with her sister or cousin. It could result in fatal injury. PROTECT PRIVATE PARTS!

3. Schedule time for intimacy and let her know if she isn’t on time, you gonna Butterfly. PROTECT THE PRIVATES!

4. Exercise in preparation for sex. Speed undressing is recommended. Tongue exercises can also enhance sexual experience.

5. The experts fallaciously urge one to take their time with sex. Pay no attention to this. Rush through the first time so you can do it again. When it comes to pussy, quantity is more important than quality. (Does not apply when you only paid for a short time. In that case, make it last as long as possible.)

6. Use lubricant. Lubricate each other with saliva before you get down to it.

7. Be Affectionate. Not every romantic encounter has to end in sex. HaHaHaHa! Surely I jest!

8. Relax. Sex is a potent stress reliever. You can alleviate her stress by showing her you have the necessary Pesos.

9. Plan an overnight getaway. Take her away from Olongapo. Might I suggest Barrio Boretto? Go bar hopping!

10. See your doctor especially if the burning and sore throat worsen.

11. If something is bothering you in the bedroom. Butterfly!