Friends and Shipmates

Garland Davis

CIVILIAN FRIEND: Will disown you for running around their house naked in front of a bunch of people none of you have ever met before.

SHIPMATE: Will take cellphone videos and photos of your antics and then get naked and join you.

CIVILIAN FRIEND: Thinks it’s disgusting that you got so drunk you pissed your pants and drowned the phone in your pocket – in his/her bed

SHIPMATE: Upon hearing what happened will say, “That’s fucked – that’s why I don’t sleep with my phone in my pocket anymore.” Then will help you turn the mattress over.

CIVILIAN FRIEND: Will get upset if you are too busy to talk to him for a week

SHIPMATE: Is glad to see you after many years; and will happily pick up and carry on the same conversation you were having last time you met.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS Will decline to loan you money for various reasons.

SHIPMATE: Will give you his last dollar with no expectation of being repaid.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will never ask for food.

SHIPMATES: Are the reason you have no food.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.

SHIPMATES: Call your parents Mom and Dad.

CIVILIAN FRIEND: Will bail you out of jail and then tell you what you did was wrong.

SHIPMATE: WILL be sitting next to you saying, “Dude…That was fucking awesome…We fucked up but what a laugh!

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

SHIPMATES: Have cried with you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

SHIPMATES: Could write a book with pages of direct quotes from you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

SHIPMATES: Will stand with you kick the ass of whole crowds that left you behind

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door

SHIPMATES: Walk right in and say, “Dude…, you got any beer?

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will drink your beer and thank you.

SHIPMATE: Will drink your beer, thank you and show up the next day with two cases to replace the six pack he drank.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough

SHIPMATES: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “You had better drink the rest of that, don’t waste it.” Then they carry you back to the ship and put you safely in your rack.

CIVILIAN FRIEND: Will talk shit about you to another person who talks crap about you.

SHIPMATE: Will knock the shit out of people who use your name in vain.

CIVILIAN FRIEND: Knows where you buried the body.

SHIPMATE: Helped you bury the body.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will call you ‘friend’ as a term of endearment.

SHIPMATES: Will call you ‘asshole’ ‘shithead’ or ‘fucker’ as a term of endearment.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.

SHIPMATES: Are for life.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

SHIPMATES: Will forward this to their military buddies.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Share a few experiences.

SHIPMATES: Share a lifetime of experiences no civilian could ever dream of.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: attend class reunions every ten years.

ASIA SAILOR SHIPMATES: Flock to Branson in May of each year for the Westpac’rs reunion where they drink, renew old friendships, drink, reminisce, drink, tell sea stories, drink, laugh, drink, tell jokes, drink, and a great time.