The story of “Bob”…

By Brion Boyles

The Negritos are a tribe of pygmies that lived within the base perimeter of the Naval Station in the Philippines and acted as “security” along with the USMC patrols. One night, they gave the Marines a cooked bat to bring back to the Military Police HQ. My watch section worked the 1700 to 0700 patrol shift. I was on duty as MP radio dispatcher at HQ, recovering from an ankle wound. Around 0400, while everything was dead quiet, the Marines snuck up behind me at my desk and tapped me on the shoulder with the bat… still on the stick, it had been cooked on. I turned around and came face-to-face with a snarling, furry monster… teeth bared, tongue sticking out grotesquely. I about shot thru the ceiling.

We all had a little bit of it to eat… not recommended. Nonetheless, I asked if I could keep the head. It had some kind of eyelid covering over the eyes, which turned kinda greenish during cooking…sorta like glow-in-the-dark plastic. Look seriously evil.

After my shift, our patrol did what we always did, go out on the town for “Choir Practice”…. a drinking session from about 7 AM to around 10 AM at a 24 hr bar called “Slim’s”. I wrapped the head (which I had named “Bob, The Burnt BBQ Bat”) in a napkin and brought it with me… and when I got to Slim’s, sat it on the bar next to my beer. After a few beers and inquiries from the girls (“What’s THAT?”…”Oh, nothing….”), I went into the head to pee and wait. I didn’t have to wait long before the screams…

Later, I got a little worried when I was packing out my household effects to transfer back to the States. I felt SURE that Customs would snag up “Bob” and a few other morbid items I had acquired in the Philippines… so I hid the lot of them in the rattan furniture and cushions.

When I got to the States, I forgot about them and later sold the rattan furniture in a yard sale. To this day I wonder what the reaction was when some housewife or maid discovered my grisly collection…