Advice for an Asia Sailor’s Girl
By Garland Davis with content stolen from Cort Willoughby
I have been asked by many young ladies how to tell if an Asia Sailor is serious about a relationship. The following actions by your Asia Sailor are indicative of his deep feelings for you and whether he is a possible candidate for marriage.
- He helps you carry the ten cases of beer he asked you to buy for the weekend and only insists that you pay for half of it.
- He isn’t bashful about hawking up a loogie and launching it to windward out the window of your car causing it to splatter all over the rear passenger window.
- He isn’t bashful about scratching his nuts and adjusting them to a more comfortable position.
- He commonly responds with “What the Fuck” when presented with a problem, such as, loss of the bottle opener.
- He refuses to buy vehicle air fresheners to cover up the odor of the fart blown seat covers in his vintage gray Dodge Ram with the ‘Running Rust’ paint job.
- He asks if you shoot pool and then attempts to involve you in a game he invented called ‘Strip Pool.’
- He is not stingy about offering you a dip of his Copenhagen.
- When you have to pee on a road trip, he is considerate of your privacy and pulls over near a copse of bushes so you can piss secure that no one is watching.
- He involves you in a philosophical discussion regarding the merits of Fellatio and Cunnilingus.
- He quickly overcomes the taboo of farting in your presence and no longer closes the bathroom door when taking a shit at your apartment.
- When he farts in bed and pulls the covers over your head, stand by for a proposal and a ring!
These are all indications that your Asia Sailor is a keeper. Always keep in mind that as an Asia Sailor he is a Pubic Servant.