by Cort Willoughby
This episode finds me in Japan heading to Korea with my Great Shipmate Willy.
We were being sent there by the CAPT to get, of all things, Cruise Jackets for the sons of crew members.
We were in the train station near Sasebo. Sitting in a restaurant on the second floor of the station looking down, I spied a public toilet which reminded ne that I really needed to go.
The need for the facilities became stronger as I went down the stairs. the first mistake I made was to rush into the ladies toilet and scare the shit out of the women in there. I quickly backed out of there throwing “Gomenasai’s” left and right.
I rapidly corrected myself, the pressure in my bowels becoming stronger, and ran, like a sprinter going for the gold, into into the men’s room. As I was preparing to drop trou, I noticed that there was no toilet paper.
There is a box mounted on the bulkhead by the doors to the toilets. I could see it cost 80 Yen to get paper from the dispenser. I didn’t have 80 fucking Yen. I was on the verge of shitting myself because I was short a damned copper looking 10 Yen coin.
Willy is looking down at me from the restaurant. I mimic holding coins up and he gives me a positive head shake . By this time I’m drawing a crowd . I’m getting desperate and run topside to get change from him.
I run back down and do a fucking tap dance trying to not shit myself. The crowd has grown to about 50 and the big smiles only increased my anxiety that I might not smell so good if I didn’t take care of business. Fumbling, I insert the coins and twist the knob and out slides a pack of tampons .
Giggling and outright laughter are coming from the Locals. They are really into it by now. I’m panic stricken . Look topside and Willy is holding up the napkin dispenser.
HELL YES AND DAMN RIGHT I THINK .
I scorched the stairs to grab the stack of napkins and barely made it in time . The JAPANESE gave me a standing ovation with big smiles and hand clapping. It seems I was the star of the show!
This is just one of the many awkward incidents in the life of a Westpac sailor and one of the many times a SHIPMATE has been there for me.
Tales of an Asia Sailor 
Seems to me, if you are going to scare the shit out of somebody in the toilet is the best place to do it.
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What would life be without toilet paper!!! Kind of stinky I’d say…
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Foreign lands could be fun! We had been in the Philippines for a couple years, then had almost 6 mo. in Japan – Dad was a Supply Corp LCDR, PCOS to DC.
Shortly after we arrived, Dad was busy and a long time friend asked the four of us out to dinner. Dad and I had been out to dinner in the same restaurant a week earlier, and I knew what to expect. We got there before Homer, and went ahead and got a table – he had made a reservation for us.
Well, we sit at the table, and the lovely waitresses, all dressed in formal attire, brought each of us a bowl, lemon scented, along with a hot wash cloth.
Now, my Dad had made a firm rule – you had to at least taste what was placed in front of you. Except Balutes.
So, Mom and my sisters grabbed the funny-looking spoons, and prepared to eat.
I said the the bowls were finger bowls, and we were to wash our fingers in them, then wipe with the hot washcloth.
Mother called me a Smart-Aleck, and told the girls to dig in.
When they were about half way through, Homer came in, and the first words he said were, “Darthula, why are you and the girls eating your finger bowl water?”.
I do not think my Mom said another word while we were in the restaurant.
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Stationed and lived in Japan for 26 years straight and figured out why the pretty young ladies at the train stations handed out little packets of tissues (for the Benjo). Also any one remember running in to take a dump and come face to face with a bomb sight toilet?
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Just one more experience that a civilian will never have . . .
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